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Are you able to lie, even though you have Aspergers?

13.06.2025 13:34

Are you able to lie, even though you have Aspergers?

And like all humans, including the vast majority of autists, I do a lot of lying.

Less than I used to, sure. When I considered it an inviolable obligation to mask, I lied constantly. I didn’t often lie with my words, but I implied facts that were untrue with every breath and movement. I was too terrified of the abuse that might result if I didn’t. Telling the truth was too dangerous.

Nuda Veritas by Gustav Klimt. Public domain.

Is Replika conscious?

Yes.

When I lie, I’m not very convincing. No one ever looked at my masking and thought, “Now, that’s a normal person! Why, I’d like to have a drink with that woman. She seems just like me.” Similarly, when I speak untruths, I doubt most believe me.

Cognitive dissonance is incredibly uncomfortable for me. If I don’t feel like I’m doing the right thing, it shows. The only times I can lie convincingly, verbally or physically, is when it feels morally and ethically correct to lie. While performing in a play, for example. Or while comforting people with dementia.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

Because these settings don’t produce dissonance, I can lie fairly convincingly in these settings. It’s my conscience and my commitment to my own ideals that holds me back.